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My Era of Embracing High Maintenance

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For most of my twenties, I thought being “low-maintenance” was a compliment. It meant I was likable, agreeable, and easy-going. In dating, especially, I believed my job was to be chosen—to make myself attractive to someone else. That was long before I even asked the more important question: Did I actually like them?

As I’ve stepped into more intentional dating, that mindset has unraveled. It hasn’t been easy—learning what I value in others (and what immediately gives me the ick) has been both challenging and revelatory. But redefining and owning my so-called “high-maintenance” qualities has taught me something important: being high-maintenance isn’t about being arbitrarily difficult. It’s about setting standards, and refusing to let anything into my life that dips below them.

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Featured image from our interview with Iskra Lawrence by Michelle Nash.


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Why I’m Embracing High-Maintenance (And You Should Too)

I’m embracing high-maintenance as a way of living with greater clarity and care. To me, it means prioritizing what feels good, refining what I need, and honoring my boundaries without apology. Because when I stop performing for other people and start claiming what I actually want, life feels less like compromise and more like alignment.

So here’s my case for wanting more. Not more noise, more stuff, or more distraction—but more intention, more beauty, more of what brings me joy. And yes, I’ll happily call that high-maintenance.

Being high-maintenance isn’t about being arbitrarily difficult. It’s about setting standards, and refusing to let anything into my life that dips below them.

Redefining High-Maintenance

Somewhere along the way, “high-maintenance” became shorthand for too much. Too emotional, too opinionated, too particular. It’s a label that’s often used to shrink women, especially those who know what they want and aren’t afraid to say it. For years, I resisted it. I thought that being easy-going made me more lovable, that keeping my preferences quiet was the polite—and right—thing to do.

But I’ve learned that being “low-maintenance” at the expense of yourself isn’t effortless. Actually? It’s exhausting. You spend your energy trying to anticipate what will make others comfortable instead of asking what will make you fulfilled. That kind of self-erasure might look calm on the surface, but underneath, it’s a quiet betrayal of your needs.

So I’ve started to reclaim the term. To me, embracing high-maintenance means living deliberately. It’s about choosing what adds value, refusing what doesn’t, and showing up for your life with discernment. Whether it’s in relationships, routines, or the way you decorate your home, it’s a practice of self-respect. It says: I care enough about myself—and the people in my life—to be clear about what I need.

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Boundaries as an Act of Care

For so long, I mistook flexibility for kindness. I thought saying yes—to plans I didn’t have the energy for, to people who didn’t meet me halfway—made me generous. But really, it just made me depleted. When you’re used to being low-maintenance, boundaries can feel like a threat to your likability. The truth is, they’re the foundation of meaningful connection.

In this new era of dating, I’ve come to realize how much of my chill girl persona was built on quiet self-abandonment. I didn’t want to seem demanding, so I accepted less than I needed. But boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re invitations. They create space for relationships that are rooted in honesty and mutual respect, instead of quiet resentment.

And boundaries don’t just belong in relationships. They’re essential in how we spend our time, how we work, and even how we rest. Embracing high-maintenance means noticing where you’ve been running on empty and deciding you won’t live there anymore. It’s less about saying no to others and more about saying yes to yourself.

Curating Your High-Maintenance Mindset

If redefining high-maintenance starts internally—with self-awareness and boundaries—then curating it is how we bring that awareness into our daily lives. It’s not about complication or excess. It’s about learning what makes you feel grounded, cared for, and alive—and choosing to make space for it.

For me, it’s the rituals that turn ordinary moments into something sacred. It’s splurging on the moisturizer I use every night because it makes me pause and breathe. It’s setting the table, even when I’m dining solo. It’s choosing quiet over constant stimulation, solitude over forced connection.

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This mindset extends beyond self-care as well. It’s in how we dress, decorate, and design our days. Maybe it’s editing your closet to include only the pieces you truly love, lighting a candle before your morning journaling session, or walking to your favorite coffee shop instead of rushing through a drive-thru. These small, deliberate acts remind us that care and beauty can coexist with practicality.

Try this: Take inventory of one area of your life—your routine, your space, or your relationships—and ask: Does this feel like me? If the answer is no, what would make it feel more aligned? Often, it’s not about adding something new, but removing what no longer serves you.

Permission to Want More

For so long, I believed that wanting more made me ungrateful. I thought contentment meant staying quiet with what I had, that ambition and appreciation couldn’t coexist. The truth is, we can hold both: we can love our lives deeply while still envisioning what’s next.

Embracing high-maintenance has helped me see that desire isn’t something to downplay. It’s a compass. The things we want—connection, creativity, beauty—aren’t signs of greed or vanity. They’re signals of where we’re being called to grow.

When we stop apologizing for wanting more, we start living from a place of expansion rather than fear.

There’s power in naming what you want, even if it feels bold or a little uncomfortable. When you honor your desires, you’re not chasing perfection—you’re saying, I’m worth the effort it takes to live a life that feels true to me.

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Try this: Think about one area of your life where you’ve been settling—your work, your relationships, your routines. What would “more” look like there? What’s one small action you could take this week to move closer to it?

Living With Intention

The older I get, the more I realize that ease doesn’t come from doing less—it comes from doing what’s aligned. Living with intention means making peace with the effort required to build a life that feels good. It’s not about convenience or control, but care.

Being high-maintenance, in the way I’ve come to define it, is really about self-respect. It’s the choice to pay attention to how we spend our time, what we bring into our homes, who we allow close, and how we show up for ourselves. It’s knowing that when something requires your energy, it should also return it.

That’s the quiet beauty of this era I’m stepping into: everything in my life, from the people I love to the products I use, is here because I’ve chosen it. Not because it’s easy, or expected, or universally liked, but because it reflects what matters to me.

Try this: Look around your life and notice what feels effortless and what feels draining. What would it look like to edit your days with the same care you bring to your favorite rituals?

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A New Era

For so long, I equated high-maintenance with being too much. Too particular, too opinionated, too aware of what I wanted. But knowing what you want is a strength. It means you’ve done the work to listen to yourself.

This is the era I’m claiming: one defined by discernment, by depth, and by the belief that my needs are not burdens—they’re invitations. To choose what feels aligned, to let go of what doesn’t, and to keep shaping a life that feels like my own.

Because maybe high-maintenance was never the problem. Maybe the real maintenance was the act of self-abandonment—of diluting who we are to make others comfortable. The truth: I’m no longer interested in that kind of ease.





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Lifestyle

The Perfect Brined Roast Turkey Recipe

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No matter how many turkey recipes hit the internet each November, I still find myself typing “best Thanksgiving turkey recipe” into Google. There are endless ways to cook a bird—stuffed, spatchcocked, even deep-fried—but nothing compares to the timeless appeal of a brined roast turkey. When done right, it yields golden, crispy skin and tender, flavorful meat that stays perfectly juicy every time.

Of course, “simple” doesn’t always mean easy. Between the size of the bird, removing giblets, and mastering the brine, plenty can go wrong—resulting in a turkey that’s dry or unevenly cooked. So, in my quest for the ultimate version, I turned to Michael Fojtasek, chef and owner of Austin’s award-winning restaurant Olamaie. He stopped by my kitchen—brined turkey in hand—to share his secrets. From the ideal brine recipe to achieving that lacquered, caramelized, crispy skin of our dreams, here’s everything you need to know to master the brined roast turkey this Thanksgiving.

how to prepare a thanksgiving turkey

Why brine a turkey?

If you’ve ever bitten into a Thanksgiving turkey that looked beautiful but tasted dry, you already know why brining matters. Brining infuses the meat with moisture and flavor from the inside out, ensuring that every bite of your brined roast turkey stays juicy and tender—even after hours in the oven. The salt in the brine helps the turkey retain water while it cooks, so instead of drying out, the meat stays perfectly succulent beneath that golden, crispy skin.

Beyond texture, brining is a flavor game-changer. A good turkey brine—whether classic with herbs and citrus or spiced up with peppercorns and garlic—builds a depth of flavor that seasoning alone can’t achieve. When you roast a brined turkey, the result is evenly seasoned meat that practically bastes itself as it cooks, making it easier to achieve that restaurant-quality balance of crispy skin and melt-in-your-mouth tenderness.

How to Brine a Turkey

First, clear some fridge space: a brined turkey does take up some room. You can use a large stockpot—however, for many of us, a space-saving solution is a giant Ziplock bag. (You can usually find it with the turkey supplies at your grocery store around this time of year or on Amazon.) Place the turkey in the bag with the brine to be sure it’s fully coated. Either way, Fojtasek advises using a non-reactive container and brine for 24 hours.

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What turkey is best for brining?

Fojtasek says, “The best turkey is a nice organic bird that is as fresh as possible. However, if it has been frozen, be sure to let it thaw gently in your refrigerator.” Don’t brine a turkey that’s been pre-salted—since the brine is full of salt, it’s already given your turkey all the seasoning it needs.

how to prepare a thanksgiving turkey

How to Give Your Turkey That Crispy, Golden Skin

Fojtasek shared his secret ingredient: sorghum syrup, a staple of classic Southern cooking. Similar in texture and color to molasses, sorghum is made from sorghum cane rather than sugar cane—and when used in the brine, its natural sugars help create that beautifully caramelized, crispy skin.

If you have the time, take one extra step after brining: remove the bird from the liquid and refrigerate it uncovered for 24 to 36 hours. Resting it breast-side up allows the skin to dry slightly and form what chefs call a pellicle—the secret to that irresistible golden crisp.

How to Roast a Brined Turkey

When you’re ready to cook the turkey, remove it from the refrigerator two hours in advance, and preheat your oven to 350°F. Stuff the turkey with lemon, onion, garlic, and thyme.

Next, you will truss the turkey, then pour a small amount of oil over the breast and rub it evenly all over the bird. This will give it a nice, even color when it cooks. Season with salt and black pepper, then place it in the oven for 2-3 hours, until the temperature of the thickest part of the thigh reaches 160°F.

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Chef Michael Fojtasek shares the secrets to making a perfectly brined roast turkey with crispy skin–just in time for Thanksgiving!


  • 1 whole turkey
  • 1 lemon (cut into quarters)
  • 1 onion (cut into quarters)
  • Half a head of garlic
  • A few sprigs of thyme
  • Salt & black pepper to taste
  • Garnish: chopped parsley and black pepper
  • Brine (see recipe below)

For the Turkey Brine 

  • 1 1/2 quarts water
  • 5 tablespoons kosher salt
  • 1 1/2 quart ice
  • 1 1/4 cups sorghum syrup (Like Muddy Pond)
  • 1/2 head garlic
  • 1 onion (quartered)
  • 3 tablespoons whole black peppercorn
  • 4 lemons (quartered)
  • 6 sprigs thyme


  1. First, give your turkey a quick rinse.
  2. Then, brine it. Make sure you use a container that is non-reactive. I generally use plastic. Brine for 24 hours. If you have time, the best next step is to remove the bird from the brine and place it uncovered in the refrigerator for an additional 24 to 36 hours. Allowing the bird to sit breast-side up for that amount of time enables the skin to form what we call a pellicle, or “the crispy.”
  3. When you’re ready to cook the turkey, remove it from the refrigerator for two hours and preheat your oven to 350°F. Stuff it with the lemon, onion, a halved head of garlic, and a few sprigs of thyme.
  4. Truss it. Pour a small amount of oil over the breast and rub it all over the bird evenly. This will give it a nice, even color when it cooks.
  5. From there, I season fairly liberally with salt and ground black pepper.
  6. Then, it goes into the oven until the temperature of the thickest part of the thigh has a thermometer reading of 160°F. This can take up to three hours or even less than two, depending on the oven.
  7. Once it has reached the desired temperature, remove it from the oven and allow it to rest. I like to loosely cover the turkey with foil and set it aside while I finish the other parts of the meal. It needs to rest for a minimum of 20 minutes. I prefer more like 35.
  8. When you’re ready to serve, remove the breast completely, then slice. I like to remove the legs and thighs to slice as well. Everything goes on a warm platter and gets a little chopped parsley and ground black pepper. This is a great way to execute a turkey that is all about flavor and beautiful crispy skin without doing anything crazy.

For the Turkey Brine

  1. Place the salt, water, garlic, onion, black peppercorn, sorghum syrup, and lemons in a pot. Bring to a boil for two minutes. Pour over ice. Ideally, all of your brine is cool or, at the highest, room temperature.
  • Prep Time: 60
  • Cook Time: 120

This post was last updated on November 15, 2025, to include new insights.





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Holiday Travel Essentials That Transform the Way You Fly

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There’s no denying it—holiday travel is… a lot. From packed airports to unpredictable delays, even the most seasoned traveler can feel their shoulders inching toward their ears. But while you can’t control the chaos (and the chaos is *abundant* this holiday travel season), you can control how you move through it. These holiday travel essentials aren’t about adding more—they’re about designing small rituals that help you stay grounded, nourished, and calm, from the first cup of tea to the final gate call.

Lately, I’ve started treating travel days like part of the vacation itself. A cup of matcha before heading to the airport. A playlist that cues ease instead of urgency. A line-up of comforts—electrolytes, essential oils, cozy layers—that turn waiting at the gate into something restorative. It’s a mindset shift that trades stress for softness and transforms the “getting there” into something you actually look forward to.


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Holiday travel essentials.

Holiday Travel Essentials: Small Luxuries That Make the Journey Feel Like the Vacation

Whether you’re flying cross-country to see family or taking a long winter drive, these small luxuries are designed to make the journey feel lighter, slower, and infinitely more enjoyable. Because when you travel well, you arrive well. And really, isn’t that the true beginning of any good trip?

How to Travel Like It’s Part of the Vacation

Forget white-knuckling your way through the airport. Think of travel as a transition ritual. It’s the moment where the pace slows, your body softens, and presence replaces pressure.

Start your day with calm energy by swapping your usual coffee for Pique’s Matcha Green Tea—a clean, antioxidant-rich ritual that energizes without the crash.

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As you get dressed, opt for softness and intention. Haven Well Within is our go-to for elevated travel sets that blend elegance and ease: the Lurex Rib Knit Top and Maxi Skirt feel polished enough for the airport lounge, while the Tuxedo-Stripe Funnelneck Pullover and matching pants strike the perfect note between cozy and chic.

Dressing for travel is its own art form, and it starts with thoughtful layering. A lightweight, packable puffer is the unsung hero of winter travel—warm enough to handle icy terminals, compact enough to stow away once you board. And for an instant upgrade? The Haven Well Within Cashmere Wrap. Wear it as a scarf through security, then unfold it mid-flight into the most luxurious blanket you’ll ever wrap around your shoulders.

The Little Luxuries That Change Everything

Sometimes, it’s the smallest rituals that change your whole travel experience. A few sensory anchors—scents, textures, or quiet comforts—can turn even the most chaotic day into something calm and grounding.

Mist your surroundings with Primally Pure’s Palo Santo Aromatherapy Mist to reset your energy mid-journey, or add a drop of Hinoki Lavender Fragrance Oil to your wrists for a serene, woodsy calm. Ease tension with Magnesium Oil after a long flight, and refresh with the cooling Skinny Confidential Mint Roller between layovers. (And if you’ve wondered whether the price is worth it on this roller—the answer is a resounding, absolutely yes.)

Keep your thoughts anchored with a stunning and minimalist journal from one of our favorite brands. It’s a beautiful way to slow down, jot intentions, or notice what’s around you. And don’t forget the inner essentials: Sakara’s Fiber Super Powder (because yes, travel does a number on your digestive system). And their cult-favorite Calm + Burn Gummy Bundle keeps your body balanced while you’re on the go. A few Arrae Bloat capsules tucked into your carry-on are the only way we know to feel good after airport meals.

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Each of these simple touches adds up to something bigger: a sense of ritual that makes travel feel like self-care.

Rituals for Calm Travel Days

Building small rituals into your travel rhythm can make even the busiest day feel restorative.

Slip on the Lunya Weighted Washable Silk Sleep Mask and apply Summer Fridays Jet Lag Eye Patches mid-flight for an instant in-air refresh. Keep your phone tucked away and choose a book or playlist that expands time instead of compressing it. Breathe deeply, sip something nourishing, and let yourself soften into the moment.

Arriving, Rested and Ready

With a few mindful choices and small, grounding luxuries, travel can become what it was always meant to be: the first chapter of the journey itself. The moment you slip on your cashmere wrap, take a slow sip of matcha, or breathe in the calm of a familiar scent, you begin to arrive—not just at your destination, but in yourself.

The secret is remembering that travel isn’t time lost—it’s an invitation to pause. To move slowly through transitions, to savor small comforts, and to let your rituals hold you steady when the world around you feels rushed. So this season, as you pack your bags and map your routes, think of these not as just holiday travel essentials, but as tools to help you carry ease wherever you go.

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This post was last updated on November 14, 2025, to include new insights.





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Lifestyle

Roasted Cauliflower Quinoa Salad with Citrus-Honey Vinaigrette

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There’s one trick that takes quinoa from bland to crave-worthy: cook it in bone broth. It’s wild how much flavor it adds—rich, savory, and deeply satisfying. Plus, it boosts the protein so this salad actually keeps you full.

This quinoa and cauliflower salad is a sleeper hit in my kitchen. It’s so much more than the sum of its parts—just quinoa, roasted cauliflower, and a few pantry staples that somehow turn into something you can’t stop eating. Toss it all with a citrus-honey vinaigrette, crunchy cashews, sweet raisins, and a handful of parsley, and you’ve got that perfect mix of bright, fresh, and cozy.

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quinoa cauliflower salad

I love making a big batch at the start of the week. It’s one of those dishes that tastes even better after sitting in the fridge overnight—the flavors deepen, the raisins stay juicy, and it’s just as good cold as it is warm. For an effortless weeknight dinner, serve with hot honey salmon, roast chicken, or a scoop of creamy hummus, and a simple arugula salad. Each bite delivers a balance of sweet, savory, and crunchy textures—a dish that’s as nourishing as it is beautiful.

Why You’ll Feel So Good After Eating This

Each ingredient pulls its weight—here’s why this salad is as nourishing as it is delicious:

  • Quinoa: A complete plant-based protein with all nine essential amino acids. High in fiber to keep you full and support digestion.
  • Bone Broth: Rich in collagen, minerals, and amino acids that support joint and gut health while giving the quinoa a deep, savory flavor.
  • Cauliflower: Packed with antioxidants and vitamin C, it’s the unsung hero for glowing skin and strong immunity.
  • Parsley: More than a garnish—loaded with vitamin K, folate, and iron for energy and bone health.
  • Cashews: Add satisfying crunch and healthy fats to keep blood sugar steady.
  • Raisins: A natural touch of sweetness plus potassium and iron for an energy boost.
  • Citrus-Honey Vinaigrette: Lemon brightens everything while honey provides antioxidants and just enough sweetness to balance the flavors.

How to Roast Cauliflower Perfectly

Roasting cauliflower is where the magic happens. Toss the florets with a drizzle of olive oil, a pinch of kosher salt, and a crack of black pepper. Spread them out on a baking sheet and roast at 400°F for 20–25 minutes, until the edges are golden and slightly caramelized. The result? Tender, nutty, slightly sweet bites that add warmth and depth to every forkful.

quinoa cauliflower salad

How to Serve It

This is the kind of food that makes you feel nourished, balanced, and a little more grounded—exactly what I want this time of year.

Pro tip: After cooking your quinoa, stir in the raisins, cover the pot, and let them steam for five minutes. They’ll plump up beautifully and add that little burst of sweetness in every bite.

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This nourishing quinoa salad with roasted cauliflower, cashews, and citrus-honey vinaigrette is packed with protein, flavor, and feel-good ingredients.

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  • 1/2 cup cooked quinoa
  • 1 cup bone broth
  • 1/4 cup raisins
  • 1/2 head cauliflower, chopped into small pieces
  • 1/4 cup roasted cashews, roughly chopped
  • 1 cup parsley, roughly chopped
  • kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the Honey-Citrus Vinaigrette:

  • juice of a lemon

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil

  • big squeeze of honey

  • 1 tablespoon dijon mustard

  • 1 chopped garlic clove

  • kosher salt & freshly ground black pepper, to taste


  1. Cook quinoa according to package directions, swapping bone broth for water.
  2. Meanwhile, make the vinaigrette by whisking all the ingredients together.
  3. When it’s cooked, turn off the heat, toss in raisins, and cover to let them steam inside the pot for 5 minutes. (This makes them plump and juicy.) 
  4. In a serving bowl, add chopped cauliflower, cashews, and parsley, then add the cooked quinoa. Drizzle over vinaigrette, and toss it all together.
  5. I like to serve this with some hummus, grilled chicken, salmon, or your protein of choice, and a simple arugula salad for such a satisfying and healthy dinner.





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